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"I'm getting older and I'm not too excited about it. I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want to start keeping my change in one of those little rubber things that pinch on the side. Because, once you get one of those things and a gray cardigan sweater, you're pretty much gone."
"We have a problem with illiteracy, and I think it may be the school system's slogan: "We teach The Three R's Reading, Riting and Rithmetic." Evidently spelling isn't a major priority...."
"Of all the presidents, Harry Truman was the worst speller. As a matter of fact, his name wasn't even Harry, it was Larry. He just misspelled it."
"I have fair skin. You know what that means: if I go out in the sun for thirty minutes, I blister. Yeah, that's fair."
"The little metal plate on the warm air hand blow dryers in the restrooms at McDonald's says, 'Tilt up to dry face and hair.' Are people washing their hair at McDonald's now? I just don't remember the last time I ordered a burger and fries and the counter girl said, 'Would you like shampoo with that?'"
To book Chip
Chinery for your event, contact:
Richard
De La Font Agency, Inc.
For more information
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Professional booking inquiries only. Thank you.
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