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Rex Havens, comedian


Rex Havens

"Everything I Needed To Know, I Learned From My Wife."

Rex Havens, comedian Rex Havens, comedian Rex Havens advocates a world in which there would be no need for a "Women's Liberation Movement," that is, if he can accomplish his goal of launching a nationwide "Male Surrender Movement!"  Forget the seven habits of highly effective people. No man is ever going to be highly effective unless and until he realizes and accepts his true and shamefully humble place in the universe. And what good is business success, anyway, if you're still fighting a futile and unwinnable war at home?


Rex Havens says, "Men of America, learn the dignity which comes from knowing when you're beat." He presents other critical lessons, such as:

  • The Wedding.  "Sorry, but it's not your day, fella!"
  • Women and children first.  "Sorry, still not your day, fella!"
  • If she's now your "Better Half," guess which half that makes you???
  • Periwinkle, Mauve, Ecru & Taupe.  "Buddy, you wouldn't understand even if she tried to explain."
  • Sugar and spice and everything nice!  "Sorry, pal, but we already used 'everything niceto turn out our top-of-the-line models."
  • Snips and snails and puppy dog tails!  "But don't worry.  We'll find something really special for you."
  • How my resourceful wife took a beautiful, huge His-&-Her walk-in closet . . . and converted it . . . to a "Her!" 
  • Woman's best friend - diamonds - is one of the rarest, most precious treasures on the planet.
  • Man's best friend is so plentiful we neuter 'em, 'cuz we don't want more!
  • Seven things men should say to keep women happy.
  • Seven things women should say to keep men happy.
  • Fourteen lies essential to the perfect relationship.

No, this message is NOT for everyone.  Some think Rex Havens is right, others know he's right, many fear he's right, and a small, deeply disturbed, hold-out core of resistance want him dead.  But for those who can smile at our foibles, weaknesses and occasional insecurities, he's perfectly harmless, and dead-on funny!

What Others Say about Rex Havens --

  • St. Luke's Health Systems
    "Want to thank you for your recommendation for this year's entertainer. You were right on the money!  REX HAVENS WAS TERRIFIC!  Some comments from our CEO were: 'Nice to have wholesome entertainment.'  'Really enjoyable and entertaining act!' and 'Good choice for this year's banquet!'  He was a real professional, and easy to work with."

  • NCL Cruise Lines
    "What a pleasure working with Rex again!  I love his show, and I received great feedback about how wonderful it is to have nice, clean, funny entertainment!"

  • Kendall-Hunt Publishing
    "First class all the way!  Rex was very professional and did a great job! He had everyone in constant laughter!"

  • American Express
    "We laughed harder than we had in years, and everyone was still talking about it the next day!"

  • Samsonite
    "What a wonderful entertaining end to our week of meetings! And so refreshing to see it done with such style, wit and taste!"

  • Van-Meter Industrial, Inc.
    "Rex Havens was a huge success with our employees. His comedy show was entertaining, clean, and truly a hit with everyone in attendance. I am still receiving only good comments about the party, and especially Rex."

  • Illinois Youth Counselors
    Thank you for a job well done! We were especially elated by the fact that you were sensitive to the needs of your audience."

Notable Clients of ...
Rex Havens

Proctor & Gamble
Toshiba America, Inc.
State Farm Insurance
United Way of Cook County
Rockwell International
GKC Theaters
Quarterdeck Corp.
Allstate Insurance
Burlington Northern RR
T. J. Maxx
Norwest Bank
Phillips Petroleum
Ducks Unlimited
Principal Financial Group
Johnson & Johnson
Cooper Nuclear
Lenders Bagels
AFLAC Insurance
Adams Mark Hotels
Lowe's Home Centers
Ralston Foods
Quaker Oats
IES Utilities
Bethphage Foundation
Angel Flight Foundation
Keystone Steel
St. Louis Barnes Hospital
McLeod USA
Interbake Foods
Stratford Homes
Sarah Bush Lincoln Health Foundation
ATI Global, Inc.
Lear Corporation
Blue Cross/Blue Shield
IRES Foundation
Style Craft Furniture
PMC ProMap Corporation
Midwest Truckers Association
J. H. Larson Co.
Justrite Manufacturing
American Family Insurance
Nuveen Investments
Featherlite, Inc.
Brownell, Inc.
Iowa Optometric Association
Moline Rotary
Dunn Co.
Iowa Firemen's Association
The Heritage Group
Western Retail Lumbermen's Association
Maurice's, Inc.
National Electrical Contractors Association
Emerson Electric Company
ACI Mechanical, Inc.
Ohio Forestry Association
Reformed Bible College
Metalwest, Inc.
Illinois Assn. of Mutual Insurance Cos.
Galesburg Women in Business Association
NETech, Inc.
and many more . . . . .

Rex Havens may be available for your next special event!

For booking information, click HERE!

For ratings guide, click here.

Based: ..in Illinois / based nIllinois
           ..in Dunlap / based DunlapIL

For More Information  For professional booking requests only. Thank you.

Booking Rex Havens: Professional inquiries only.

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