Richard De La Font with Steven Wright

Steven Wright is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.

Steven Wright was ranked as the 15th Greatest Comedian by ROLLING STONE in a list of the 50 Greatest Stand-up Comics. His accolades include the Academy Award for Best Live Action Short Film for writing and producing the short film, The Appointments of Dennis Jennings (1988) and two Primetime Emmy Awards nominations as a producer of Louie (2010–15).

 

 

Sample thoughts of Steven Wright (Try to imagine the statements being made in a quiet monotone and with a straight face.) --

• "The brain is a wonderful organ.
  It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and doesn't stop until you get to work."
  
  

• "I think I am a peripheral-visionary.
  I see into the future – but only on the sides."
  
  

• "Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
  I think I've forgotten this before."
  
  

• "You can't have everything.
  Where would you put it?"
  
  

• "I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking', but I don't have that much time."
  
  

• "I had a friend who was a clown.
  When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
  
  

• "I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract.
  No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it."
  
  

• "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it."
  
  

• "For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. Then I filled my humidifier with wax, and now my room is all shiny."
  
  

• "I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography."
  
  

• "I wrote a few children's books... Not on purpose."
  
  

• "I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast."
  
  

• "I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now."
  
  

• "When I was a baby, I kept a diary. Recently, I was rereading it. It said, "Day 1 -- Still tired from the move. Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot."
  
  

• "I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second."
  
  

• "It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature."

 

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